Maybe you could start by telling me how old you are, where you were born, and what place do you consider home?

• My name is Hadi Rahman. I'm 26 years old. I grew up in Palestine, in al-Bireh.
  Which place would I consider home? The place where I feel I belong more. It doesn't have to be where I was born, but where I feel myself more. That's the place I would call home.

 

Can you tell me a bit more about your journey to Paris?

• I didn't really decide to go to Paris. My aim was just to leave Palestine, and my plan was to go to Barcelona, Spain. But my friends here were generous enough to help me out when I was in need and offered me a place to stay and support me, until I have my papers. So I decided to rather stay here in Paris than being homeless in Barcelona.

 

So right now, you're not registered and without a work or residence permit in Paris, right?

• Yeah, I'm undocumented.

 

If you don't mind, tell me more about your daily life in the West Bank while you were still living there.

• I was doing multiple things. I worked in the film industry, and at the same time I worked with my family in restoration. My life there was basic, routine: waking up, going to work, not doing much besides work, and no fun. As for the oppression, I think I became so accustomed to it on a daily basis I that it just felt normal to me. It was hard to even notice the difference from “normal” living anymore; that’s just how things are there.

 

Is there anything that you really miss about your life there?

• Not really, only my cats.

 

Was there a specific moment when you knew, “I have to leave now, I can't stand it anymore”?

• Probably when I was 20. I always imagined myself living somewhere else, where I have some kind of, well, more freedom. Not exactly freedom, but you know what I mean. Just less oppression. People are too oppressed, and oppression makes them depressed. A lot of things are bad in society. The government is corrupt, the police can do whatever they want. It's not safe. I mean, a few months ago, they went to my dad's shop in Ramallah and they were looking for me and basically just searched the whole place without a fucking permit.

 

Why were they looking for you?

• Someone was beaten up by the authorities, and under pressure they gave my name in connection with weed or something like that, even though there was no evidence against me. It’s absurd, but it just shows how unsafe things are there. The authorities can do whatever they want.¹

 

How was your experience during your first weeks when you arrived in Paris?

• I was partying, and I wasn’t aware that I was going to stay here. It was never my plan to stay here.

 

Is there a reason why you’re not allowed to apply for asylum in Paris?

• Yes. I applied for a visa to Spain and came through Spain, so there’s this procedure called the Dublin Regulation. If you ask for asylum in a different country from where you entered, they process your case by contacting the first country. France asked Spain, “Do you take him?” It took three months, then they said, “Send him to Spain.” I appealed, but they rejected it. Now, if I get caught, they send me to Spain.

 

And are you documented in Spain, or would you still be undocumented there?

• I don’t know. They would send me to Spain, but I don’t know if Spain would give me asylum papers immediately. I can’t ask anyone; if I enter any municipality building they would arrest me and send me there.

 

Where do you live right now?

• I live in the apartment of a friend. My landlord is French. I live with two Tunisian LGBT guys, a couple. But I have my own room, so that’s good.

 

How do you spend your days at the moment?

• I just go to the gym. And recently I got illicit work

 

That must be a relief, right?

• Yeah, but at the same time, it's not, because my boss is a racist.

 

Do you feel like he’s using you?

• I mean, I'm using him too. I'm taking his money. But still, yeah. Honestly, at this point, I really don't care. I don’t have a single penny.

 

How do you cope with the long waiting period? What does it do to you emotionally or psychologically?

• Makes me smoke more weed. You can put that in the interview. It's actually fucking me up. I'm trying to quit, but it's not going well. So yeah, I smoke a lot of weed. I’m antisocial.

 

So you’re isolating yourself?

• Yeah.

 

Do you feel invisible or excluded from life around you because you don’t have the same opportunities?

• Yeah, I would say so.

 

Are you scared of getting caught by police in daily life?

• It's in my head, but it's not like I avoid going out because of it. I’m not really stressed about it. This is a piece of cake. I’ve done much riskier things before, like jumping over the separation wall back home. Besides, they don’t really look at me. Even though I’m a person of color, when they see piercings and tattoos they assume I’m not conservative and think I’m just a fuckboy or something.

 

Have you experienced other racism in Paris?

• Yeah, in the metro sometimes. There were a couple of times when seats were empty next to me and everyone was standing. No one wanted to sit next to me. They were all white people. On the other side, it was full. That happens a lot.

 

Are there people in Paris who support you, besides your friends? Any communities or aid organizations?

• No, no one’s supporting me.

 

Do you know other Palestinians in Paris?

• Not really.

 

Do you feel mostly alone, or do you know other undocumented people?

• There are a lot of undocumented people here. It's easy to be undocumented in Paris.

 

Do you keep in touch with your friends and family back home in Palestine?

• With my mom, yes. I disconnected myself completely from home, so I don't feel for it.

 

What do you mean, you don’t feel for it?

• No homesickness, no urge to go back, no giving up on what I'm doing here.

 

Maybe some guilt?

• Not really. I’ve given my home more than enough. I don't owe anyone any explanation. I want to live a normal life. In Palestine, I was stripped of basic human rights. Even a little bit of rights here is more than what we get there.

 

How’s the situation in Ramallah right now?

• It's getting worse. The economy is going down. When people get more hungry, they start fighting, do stupid things. Theft is a big topic right now in Palestine. After the war, many people lost jobs or got fewer hours, or got suspended. Employers had to fire people. So where there were 20 people, now there are seven or nine. That's how bad it is.

 

How does that make you feel?

• That's why I smoke weed, so I don’t feel so much for it. If I didn’t, I’d have too many feelings. I’m an anxious person; this would really affect me mentally. Even a homeless cat gets me anxious because I wish I could help, but I can’t.

 

What do you hope for most in the near future?

• A stable life where I can travel, have some simple freedom, see my friends, go to Germany, eat dürüm. I hope there will be changes: less stress about police, maybe a declared job, paying taxes like a normal person, unfortunately.

 

Do Taxes stand for being “part of society” for you?

• I’ll cut “unfortunately.” That's what I should say in my interview when I want to get my papers: “I want to start paying taxes, please give me a job.”

 

Is there anything you want to address about French society and politics?

• People have been welcoming to Palestinians. If you say you're Palestinian, it's a good thing. In Paris, at least, you can wear a Palestine jersey, not like in Germany, where you get in trouble just for wearing a scarf. People are more understanding of the Palestine situation. They understand it's not a conflict. If you call it a conflict, it’s like two equal sides fighting. It’s not equal at all.

 

How do the recent escalations in Gaza affect you personally, emotionally, and in your daily life?

• It’s not easy to see innocent people die on video. It’s not easy that this is happening today. With social media, you see videos of people tortured to death, burned, suffering, losing limbs. Kids dying. It's not easy. It makes me step away from social media more. It’s hard to just turn away from the news, but we’re human and want to help. You feel guilt.

 

How does the situation in Gaza influence your own hopes and fears for the future?

• It makes me more hopeless about Palestine. After Gaza, they will go to Jenin. They want to wipe out everyone in Gaza, and soon maybe in the West Bank, where I lived. Ramallah is already ready for them because our politicians are their puppets.

 

What does solidarity with Gaza mean to you as a Palestinian in Europe?

• Some of it is just following the trend, unfortunately, but it’s still something. At least it’s becoming a trend. It became cool to be against the system, because the government is pro-Israel and the “cool kids” are against that.

 

How does the Palestinian community in Paris respond to what is happening in Gaza?

• I don’t really know. I’ve just been locked in, not meeting people.

 

So how are you feeling mentally in general?

• I mean it’s hard currently, I’m a lot in my head. Thinking about ending things is part of my coping mechanism. Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t do anything. I do like living, so living is nothing I would want to waste.